I guess that's the end of 'Bring your pig to work day' then?

I was called into a meeting yesterday at work regarding the possibility of Swine Flu going pandemic ... Apparently face masks have been ordered for us all to wear, regardless of the fact that they don't actually work due to the germs being smaller than the holes in the mask .. Oh and once the mask gets wet or damp (Like when you breath on it a couple of times) that also nullifies the effect.

I've decided to wear this to work, and have warned my collegues in Dublin that I may sound a bit different on the phone and to ignore any statements where I say I'll be deleting them.

Along with the masks, it has been suggested that work invest in the following as well ...

Needless to say should Cyprus decide to close their borders in the next couple of weeks, so ruining my holiday at the end of May, I'll be taking this FAR more seriously.

6 years

For the past 6 weeks Bethany has been doing a countdown of days, and today she finally hit zero, for today is Bethany's 6th birthday.

Unlike her big sister, B (She's always been 'B') had a simple birth - a planned caesarian at 10:30am on April 29th, 2003. It meant I could take Charlotte to school before going across to the hospital for the operation. I had to gown up as I was to be allowed in the theatre whilst they pulled B out, but luckily for me Mia was knocked out which meant I couldn't be in theatre during the procedure. Instead I had a cup of coffee and listened very hard ... And listened ... I went and stood outside the theatre and listened even harder until I finally heard Bethany's first cry.

15 minutes later I was presented with a 7lb daughter in a fetching orange hat (We didn't know we were supposed to bring a hat in) who required her 1st feed. Bearing in mind it had been 4 years since the last time I had fed a baby, I did ok - I did even better when told by the midwife that Bethany needed a clean nappy, and changed it without gagging or the need of a clothes peg for my nose.

Bethany and Charlotte are very close, which considering there's a 5 year gap between them is nice. B idolises her big sister, and because of her is old beyond her years when it comes to gadgets (How many 5 year old do you know who can navigate a mobile phone, send a text, set SKY +, and browse YouTube for Power Ranger clips?).

B is a girly-girl, loves high-heel boots, the colour pink, party dresses, and for some reason Power Rangers Jungle Fury! B wants more than anything to keep a real lamb in her bedroom, and insists she'll house-train it - she's declared that she'll let it live in a field again when it gets older, and can't understand why we won't allow her to have one... She's just won a place in the mascot team for an Ipswich pre-season friendly in July, so has no developed a passion for playing football - every night for the past week we've been outside kicking a ball so she's prepared for running out on the Portman Road pitch. Not sure if the club will let her use her 'Fimbles' football though, as she doesn't like kicking the 'hard' footballs.

Happy birthday sweetheart!

"All we are saying ... is ...."

(As seen yesterday on the M25, somewhere near the M40 junction)

I'd love to know how the person who painted the above, did so ... (as well as why ...?) . Is there a frustrated pea salesman in Berkshire? Are they concerned that peas are getting bad press, and are worried about the renewed public interest in asparagus?

The problem with peas is they're so difficult to eat. Eating peas was traditionally regarded as a test of good table manners. Anyone who couldn't manage to get the peas on their fork, convex (the curved top) side up, and ended up using the concave side of the fork like a spoon, was looked down upon. To eat peas properly, prod a few peas onto the prongs of your fork, then scoop more peas onto the convex section, which will be kept in place by the pronged peas. Apparently it's not the done thing to balance them on your knife ...

B was invited to a school friend's 'Ben 10' themed birthday party yesterday. Having two daughters, I have no idea who or what 'Ben 10' is, so we all sat down to watch the cartoon network to find out. Apparently B went as Ben 10 after he's changed into a 4-armed thing ... That said the majority of girls went as Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, which prompted the Dad of the birthday boy to remark how he didn't remember them being in the show.

Still, there's never been, nor is there ever likely to be, a more beautiful 4-armed Ben 10.

Bye Super Jim, Hello Tractor Roy ...

I'm back at work having been well and truely knocked out by the common cold ... Most wuss-like I know, but I'm a man so what do you expect?

Ipswich played Norwich (Our rivals) on Sunday and won 3-2; however this wasn't enough to keep Ipswich manager Jim Magilton in his job. 18 months ago Jim was given £12million to get the club challenging for play-offs - we haven't look likely play off contenders for the majority of the season and now at the tail-end of the season can finish no higher than 9th (play-off positions being 3 - 6) so Jim is out the door.

I liked Jim. He was always very approachable and wore his heart on his sleeve - and I wish him all the best where-ever he ends up in football.

Ipswich didn't hang around though and 24 hours after sacking Jim, hired Roy Keane to be our new manager. I can't wait for next season, as the appointment of RK promises so much.

In other news ...

Mia had a bloke knock on the door yesterday offering to buy our 10 year old Peugeot. Apparently he wanted it for banger racing, but didn't want to put anything on the transfer documents to that effect "Just put sold for scrap" which rang a few alarm bells ... We told him to leave a number and I'd call him back in the evening. Whilst I was out walking the dog last night he knocked again - Mia ignored the knocking as it was just her and the girls in the house, although he was pretty persistant .. 20 minutes after I got back he tried again, so I told him we wouldn't be taking him up on his offer, much to his disgust. I was struck by how much he looked like Ollie Hardy (From Laurel and Hardy) even down to the little mustache .. He must know, surely?

The silicon chip inside my head is set to overload ...

I have a cold.

And a sore throat.

And a splitting headache.

And a terrible nights sleep (I was in bed by 9, got woken at 9:30pm by the phone and again at 10:15pm by someone sending me a text) which wasn't helped by having to be up at 4:30am.

So ... I'm going to get what I need to do out of the way at work, and take a 1/2 day ..

I was going to write a big blog on the Ipswich v Norwich derby match at the weekend, but frankly can't be arsed. Still - I have discovered that the sore throat makes me sound like David Bowie if I sing, so I've sung myself a rendition of 'Life on Mars' purely because I can.

All together now ... "It's a God awful small affair ..."

In my office it's the late 90's ...

If you're a regular reader of my blog, then you've probably figured that I'm not really a morning person ... I don't mind getting up early, I can handle that with no trouble, but I am very 'grumpy' (For the want of a better word) until around 10am - because of this I often have my headphones on in the office to drown out the incessesant ramblings of the annoying woman in the office or the slurping and coughing fits of the person opposite me when he has his breakfast cereal ...

So today ... Adam Ant is being asked on iTunes "Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?" - the answer to that questions is "Adam throws starter motors through windows of pubs before being committed by his best mate". Bit hard to fit into a lyric though. Needless to say annoying woman is in full flow, and today is singing the praises of SKY + to the nearing retirement bloke (US friends, SKY + is like Tivo). Nearing retirement bloke has just got SKY + and thinks that this invention of Murdoch is a new thing ... I'm going to show him my mobile phone next week, that'll really blow his mind. I believe he still throws sticks at those 'big metal birds in the sky', and this morning complained about nearly being knocked down by one of those motorised horse-less carriages ...

I'm getting rid of my SKY + as to be honest I don't get my monies worth out of my monthly fee to SKY. I begrudge paying SKY as to me they've ruined football (Get out of the Championship and you get £60 million, get relegated to the Championship and they give you £12million ... Which results in the same teams going up and down, unless they have a rich benefactor. Unfortunately in the case of Ipswich, having a rich benefactor hasn't made a blind bit of difference.

Now I have a sod-off large TV on the wall over my fireplace, which is HD ready. To get HD programs SKY want another £10 a month off me, so taking my monthly package cost upto nearly £50 a month .. £600 a year ... So, I'm getting me one of these:

A HD freeview box with the Freeview equivilent of SKY + - and the best bit is (Other than it will have paid for itself after 6 months compared to what I would be paying SKY) is it will use the SKY supplied satellite dish to receive the signal. Sweet.

Dad was in hospital for 5 days last week for minor surgery, eventually being released on Easter Saturday - this meant the Easter Egg hunt he did for the girls was postponed to yesterday evening. Now Dad is obviously bored as he went to town with it this year. The girls had to find 12 bags of eggs, 2 Easter eggs, and 2 Easter related making things - all of which were hidden round the house. The girls soon found everything bar 2 bags, it then took the girls, me, and my Dad an hour to find the remaining 2 bags (Dad having forgotten where they were!).

Bethany had a pack to make an Easter bonnet, which kept her quiet for an hour, which was nice.

This one is for the ladies in the house ...

In the office, Joy Division on iTunes drowning out the person opposite me who is unable to eat cereal without slurping at high volume. He'll have a choking fit in a minute as he's slurped a bit too much milk ...

Gents toilets (Or "Bathrooms" or "Restrooms" if you're one of our colonial cousins - The trouble I had at Sans Franscisco airport the 1st time I went to the US, trying to find a toilet ...). There is a certain etiquette involved when using a communal gents toilet, of which I will try and explain:

Exhibit A

The urinals at work, for the purpose of this blog they shall be identified from left-to-right as A, B, and C. Toilet etiquette dictates that you should stand as far away as possible from any co-workers when using the facilities, and the following rules apply:

Should you enter the gents toilet and see the above scene, which urinal should you use? The answer is A, as this is closest to the door.

Should urinal A already be in use, which urinal should you use? The answer of course is C, as although this is furthest from the door, it is also furthest from the currently in-use urinal.

Should both urinals A and C be in use, what should you do? The answer is either check your reflection in the mirror, wash your hands, or leave. On no account should you use urinal B; this will be seen as slightly weird by your co-workers.

Then there's the whole 'what to do when standing at the urinal' issue. Simply put, you engage, hold in one hand, and either stare at the wall directly in front of you or if you've had a tough night before, at the urinal itself to ensure your aim is correct. Due to the increased chances of your aim without a guiding hand suddenly turning into an out of control firehose, standing at the urinal with hands in pockets, and tackle out flowing freely is frowned upon On no account should you look at any other occupants in either of the other urinal areas, this will be most disconcerting to the other members present and will be thought of as very weird.

What a waste of a 101st post ...

Thrills Galore ....

As it was vaguely sunny on Sunday (Which for a UK Bank Holiday weekend is unheard of, so you make the most of it) we all went to Clacton for the afternoon. Clacton is your typical English seaside town, full of theme pubs, tacky shops for tourists, ice cream sellers, limited parking, people you cross the road to avoid, and a pier ...

The girls love the pier and its rides, (Though I did notice how all the prices have shot up in the space of a couple of weeks. Recession? What recession?) but Bethany appears to have shrunk in the past couple of weeks as the rides she was on in February she is now too small for.

Charlotte went on the Waltzer (She's in the blue blur in the photo at the top of the blog), and Bethany had to make do with a kiddie roller-coaster.

Charlotte then went on 'The Whiplash' with her Uncle Matt, whilst I took B on the dodgems. Over the years I've noticed two sorts of dodgem cars; either they have a steering wheel in the centre of the dashboard, or it's positioned car like in front of one of the seats. These dodgems had a central wheel, which meant Bethany could steer, and steer she did. Initially she took a liking to the side walls as she kept driving towards to them only to veer away at the last minute, but she soon got the hang of driving around and dodging - well I say that, she did have a mission though ... As soon as we started, a somewhat overweight boy rammed his car into ours and with a sarcastic 'sorry' drove off. I thought Bethany had ignored him as she was excited about driving, but I was wrong! She soon spotted that the boy was stuck in a corner where he'd crashes into another car, so aimed our car at his and rammed him straight in the side! With a cheery 'Sorry!' she had reversed and was off again!

Once off the pier we walked back to the car via the beach, taking the opportunity to throw stones into the sea and watching a small rescue boat go off and rescue someone.

So other than the dive that is Clacton and iPod Touch filling (Or 'Charlotte's Touch Pod' as Bethany calls it), what else happened over the bank holiday weekend?

Saturday was spent looking at a Westfield sports car with my father-in-law and brother-in-law, (We've talked him out of that one as it was tight fitting for me let alone him, and the father-in-law couldn't reach the gear stick!) and then watching Ipswich lose in the afternoon. The Ipswich manager looked a very forlorn figure walking off at the end of the match, especially after having 18,000 singing how they want him out.

Yesterday was Mia's birthday, and coupled with Easter this meant the diet was blown for the weekend. Last night Mia and I had a chinese take-away, and I also ate an entire 'Dairy Milk' easter egg - I've not looked at the scales, but this week will mainly consist of soup and apples for my meals.

And today it's back to work. Still 4 day week which makes it just about bearable .. But, 6 weeks tomorrow and we're off on holiday, which is nice - just got to lose that extra 1/2 stone between now and then.

Through gritted teeth ...

I spent the majority of December ripping DVD's so my Father-in-law could watch them on his newly acquired iPod Touch. Of course I loved doing it, especially as my own iPod had packed up at the end of November .. And today? Charlotte spent her birthday/Christmas money and bought an iPod Touch, so I have spent the majority of the day ripping DVD's for her so she can watch them on her Touch, along with the 4 DVD's my Father-In-Law brought up with him this weekend for me to do ... Roll on July when my phone contract expires and I can get myself an iPhone, but until then I will be firmly gritting my teeth whilst filling up the iPod's of other people.

Oh .. And at one point today, my Father-In-Law, brother-in-law, and daughter were all on their on respective Touchs, playing ... I left the room! Jealousy doesn't become me ...

(And apologies for the quality of the photo, the lighting was terrible)

When do lambs grow up?

Charlotte had 8 of her mates round last night for a belated birthday celebration (It mainly consisted of watching 'Mamma Mia' and being incredibly noisy ...), so Bethany and I escaped for a walk with Jackson.

As it's spring, the field next to the train station is full of sheep and their new-born lambs - Bethany loves lambs. She wants one for her birthday, and she plans to keep it in her bedroom and will put back in the field when it's big and grown up. She also wants a rabbit and a hamster, and won't be getting any of them!

Whilst we stood and watched the lambs, I was surprised to see them playing. It definately looked like they were playing chase, which lead Bethany to ask when do lambs grow up and stop playing games? And I have no idea ... We know that 1 human year is the equivilent to 7 years for a dog, but what is it for sheep? Answers on a comment please ...

B did tell Mia about the lambs earlier this week (We've been up most nights to watch them), and Mia told her how she likes a nice bit of roast lamb. But, according to Bethany you don't get roast lamb from the lambs you see in the fields, oh no ... apparently it comes from 'turkey lambs', which are turkeys that taste like lamb. B is of the opinion that anything that looks like a turkey in real life is certainly not good enough to eat, and that those 'gamboling' lambs (Her new word) are way too nice to eat. So there ...

"Conjugate the verb 'to go' ..."

It's Monday morning, and the annoying woman in the office is in full flow how everything is 'crazy' and she knows she's not perfect ... So iTunes is back on, and Ben Folds is telling me how he 'busted his arse of the front of the stage' at Hiroshima. (And the person opposite me has got cereal which means he'll be slurping, followed by a coughing fit - up goes iTunes an extra notch)

Went for a walk on Friday afternoon, and noticed whilst walking past the side of the Bank of England, that the lovable protesters had scrawled all along the wall in chalk ... It did remind me of the scene from 'Life of Brian' where Brian has to write 'Romans go home' on a wall as an initiation, but after writing 'Romanes Eunt Domus'? (Which as we all know actually says 'People called Romanes they go the house'?) ends up with a latin lesson from a Roman centurion culminating in Brian having to write out the correct phrase 100 times ...

Could I find a piece of chalk anywhere? No ...

As blogged about on Saturday, I spent the weekend at various churches either setting up a sound and lighting rig, playing bass, rejecting the musical advances of the church musical director or being bored out of my skull ... Yesterday we were at Mistley Church, and I can safely so that no matter how warm outside, churches are freezing ... Still, I've done my bit and I now need to learn to say 'No' whenever I'm asked to help put a stage together - unless I really do want to lose my entire weekend.

Yesterday was also mine and Mia's 12th wedding anniversary, which means we have been married for 1/3 of our lives! 12th anniversary present is traditionally silk or linen, but I couldn't find anything relevant (I do try ... The year 'copper' was the traditional gift, I got Mia sunbed sessions so she could turn copper ...) so I got her some of these:

FitFlop Billow's. Apparently they're called the billow as when walking them it's like walking on a cloud, and they're designed to tone your legs ... Personally I think they look like the type of boots old ladies wear, especially when the top is rolled over - but Mia likes them and that's all that matters.

I threw out hints for the Ipswich home shirt, with 'Partridge 12' printed on the back - didn't get it, so have missed my photo opportunity chance of holding the shirt in the style of a footballer who has just joined a club.

As Eric Morecambe said ...

1st of Charlotte's theatre group productions today, the 2nd being tomorrow. I was at the church where the performance was being held at 10am, as I was asked in passing if I'd mind helping putting the stage together? "Of course" said I, thinking it was just a stage that needed putting together... So close, but yet so far. Instead I found myself installing a lighting rig as well as a sound system, and now I ache.

Came home at 2pm to get Charlotte for the rehersal, back home again at 5pm as it was bloody freezing in the church and i needed a sweater, and then the performance at 7pm. I discovered afterwards that the performance was in fact the first time the kids had done the entire thing without interuptions, but we're still having to come back at 3pm tomorrow for yet another rehersal ...

I play bass for most of it, and use my guitar once. All that work, for one song that lasts 30 seconds - I'm not even going to bother taking it tomorrow, as frankly lugging the amp and the guitar for 30 seconds is just not worth the effort.

I was asked again by the musical director to play bass for the church family services, and even had her making 'puppy dog' eyes at me in an attempt to making me agree. I haven't ...

And how did I play this evening? Pretty well, apart from the last song which I have real trouble with - as Eric Morecambe said "I'm playing all the right notes, but not neccessarily, in the right order ...".

11 years ...

Big celebrations in our house this morning, as Charlotte turned 11. Bethany is most concerned that Charlie hasn't got a birthday badge yet, as apparently you must have a badge on your birthday (Mental note, make sure Bethany has a badge on her birthday), whilst Charlie is convinced she's grown a bit since she was 10 (Which would 07:38 this morning, as she was born at 07:39).

That said she has a busy birthday weekend as she's at a ball tonight at the church group she attends, and 'performing' and rehersing all weekend for the theatre group she's in. I also get to put a stage up tomorrow morning, and be bored senseless both Saturday and Sunday afternoons during rehersals whilst holding my bass guitar ...

It's hard to take in that I now have an 11 year old daughter (If someone could post a comment saying I'm much too young, I'd appreciate it). Even now I experience something new in fatherhood almost daily - as I often tell Charlotte, I've not had an 11 year old daughter before so I'm learning on the job. She knows that it's different with Bethany, as I can fall back to when I had a 5 year old Charlotte and how I dealt with that and adjust accordingly.

My 11 year old daughter doesn't dream of being a ballerina anymore (Which is good, we never did send her to lessons), but does still harbour the dream of being a singer or the actress replacing Billie in Doctor Who - failing that she's going to be a fashion designer apparently. She's discovered make-up and is trying to grow long nails ... She's particular about the way she dresses, and has her own opinion of what goes with what, often the opposite of her mother.

But she is still a Daddy's girl ...

As yet, she hasn't discovered boys ... But when she does, I pity whomever she hooks up with as he's going to have quite a few male members (And even more scary, female members) of our family to deal with ... I did plan on her marrying Brooklyn Beckham, but we'll see.

She's going off football and won't have an Ipswich season ticket next season (Especially as hers leapt up in price by £149! And that's her with Alan Lee, her favourite player bar none .. Even if he does now play for our rivals!), and her music tastes are becoming more varied - I was DJ at the school disco last night, and was told in no uncertain terms that High School Musical and Hannah Montana are sooooo out ... (Yet she'll sit and watch both if on TV!). Who the buggeration is Lady Gaga?! Charlotte knows apparently ...

But .. she's always going to be my little girl, even when her own little girl or boy is blowing snot bubbles out of their nose ...

Example 1.

Following on from the 1st of my two blog posts yesterday (I did a 2nd in the evening should you have missed it ...), the above is an example of a city banker who has been instructed to dress down for the day, but isn't too sure what that entails ... Honestly, no protester would twig he is a banker. Either that or he's wearing those trousers for a bet ...

So, G20 and its accompanying mayhem. It's being discussed long and hard by the Daily Mail brigade in the office (Hanging is too good for them apparently, and the protesters all need a wash ...) so I've booted up iTunes once again and Matthew Sweet is telling me about divine intervention.

I did go for a walk yesterday lunchtime with Graham and Steve, two collegues from work, to see what all the fuss was about. The general impression we got was how unorganised the protesters were. The Police had them all nicely corralled outside the Bank of England, yet there was no "What do we want?" type chants, or a leader of sorts on show. Russell Brand, the "comedian" was there apparently, but wasn't there for the publicity - or so he said in his numerous interviews whilst surrounded by more minders than Obama, right at the front of the crowd.

We did watch a disco go on just outside the main crowd. Note the amount of dancers, and how they're outnumbered by the Police by at least two to one. I did tell one Policeman that it was a game of musical bumps - all he had to do was stop the music. Last one down had to leave the disco .. He didn't seem to impressed with my suggestion.

There were a few skirmishes a bit later on in the afternoon, when the RBS building (Top right in the above photo) had its windows put in. Now bearing in mind the RBS is right at the top of the list of companies the protesters are protesting about, and the proximity of the above branch to the Bank of England (That's it on the left in the photo), you'd have thought they might have followed everyone else and boarded up the windows incase of attack ... But no ... Still, it made good TV and I'm sure the dozy unmasked prat who got himself filmed by the massed media raising a huge lump of metal to smash the windows in, will be having a visit from the Police at 5am one morning soon.

There were numerous peaceful protests, like the above .. Out of shot is the placard maker having to explain what they actually mean to some confused media!

And somewhere on a Police database, is the handsome chap below ...

More 5 year old wisdom ...

Charlotte, Bethany and I took Jackson for his yearly jabs at the vet this evening. The road to the vet runs between two fields where many, many rabbits live, so needless to say there's a fair bit of roadkill.

After examining one particular flat rabbit, Bethany declared that it was fixable - it simply needed blowing up again ...

And apparently the cracks in the pavement are either:

a.) due to dinosaurs walking on them last night

or

b.) down to the world breaking apart ...

There are times when seeing life through the eyes of a 5 ("I'm 6 in 28 days time Dad!") year old, is way better than seeing it through the jaundiced, cycnical eyes of a 36 year old.

Apparently everything's ok ...

London is in lock-down today, with the advent of the G20 demonstrations. The area where I work is the epicentre of the planned action, and the shops and businesses are mostly boarded up this fine morning. All except The Pitcher and Piano, but then I guess even demonstrators fancy a swift pint, placard waving is thirsty work after all.

The main focus of the demonstrations is the Bank of England (200 foot from my office, which is also on the hitlist, which is nice) and I had a walk round there yesterday afternoon to see the preparations for the hoardes of the unwashed invading today. Other than the statues being boarded up and the benches being taken away there wasn't a lot going on, apart from this bloke:

He made his demonstration, then got into a heated debate with the balding feller on the right. (And what's with that hairstyle? You're losing your hair, so cut it off, let it go ... That way you don't look a knob).

The guy in the red then chimed in, but he insisted on using words like "bourgeois" and "renaissance", so lost his audience as no-one had a scoobies* what he was on about ...

That said, the trains were very quiet this morning as lots of companies had told their staff to work from home. Those that came in were encouraged to 'dress down' for the day ... City bankers don't understand 'dress down', so there's a lot of nicely ironed jeans and deck shoes around today ...

*Scoobies ... Cockney rhyming slang - 'Scooby Doo' - clue. Got that Holly?!

"Brownie? That's not a brownie ... THIS is a brownie ..."

There are some things you don't want to hear discussed at 8am in the morning, and 3 over-50's talking about their lack of sex education is one of them ... They've now moved onto how the UK is a "Nanny state and the laughing stock of the rest of the world". One of them read it in the Daily Mail, so it must be true ... Needless to say I've booted up iTunes, and Level 42 are telling me in their techno pop-crap way how they and various sons and daughters are in 'Hot Water' ...

Anyway, chocolate brownies.

The world's largest chocolate brownie, was a 3,000-pound slab of chocolate made from scratch by students in the Culinary Arts program at Putnam-Northern Westchester Board of Cooperative Educational Services, and consisted of 750 pounds of chocolate chips, mixed with 500 pounds of butter, 850 pounds of sugar and 500 pounds of flour. Oh, and 3,500 eggs.

It took eight hours for the 51 students to assemble the 208 individually baked trays into one final product.

Compare that with the Weight Watchers brownie I had yesterday ...

Either that's the world's largest pen, or the world's smallest chocolate brownie ...

Only 23 calories declares the box. That's because there's nothing there! Woe betide anyone who disturbs me whilst I nibble, hamster like, at my 23 calorie, microscopic chocolate treat ... And we won't mention the Weight Watchers doritos I had last week, and how there were the grand total of 13 doritos in the packet ...

Still, the diet is carrying on ... I'm eating more fruit, and have discovered that Coke Zero and Pepsi Max don't actually taste that bad. Admittedly I'm hungry all the time, but come 8 weeks and 1 day when I'm waif-like by a pool in Cyprus, it'll all be worth it. That and the fact the hotel is all-inclusive, so all that weight I will have lost will be back come the end of that week ...

It's all in the name ...

Took Charlotte to Ardleigh church on Saturday morning for her day of rehersal with the church theatre group she's joined. We were the 1st to arrive so had a wander round the church whilst we waited for everyone else to turn up, and noticed a name on the 1914 - 1918 war memorial: Ernest Partridge, same name as my paternal grandfather (Though not him as Dad was born 30 years after World War 1 finished), but the name of the soldier below him did raise a wry smile: Charles Peartree. Partridge and Peartree ...

Every Christmas we get cards from people referring to the 'Partridge in a pear tree' carol, obviously thinking they're the first to send it to us, ever. I hated the carol when at school, as everyone would point to me when singing it.

Partridge also has another connatation in the UK, with 'Alan Partridge', a creation by the comedian Steve Coogan. Alan is based on the local TV personalities that regional TV shows seem to breed, and is the self-confessed 'King of Chatshows'. When Mia was pregnant with Charlotte, I was offered £40 to name her 'Alan' by one of my friends ...

In other news, I spent an incredibly boring Saturday afternoon in Mistley church, as Charlotte's theatre group moved there for their next set of rehersals. I was required to work my guitar and bass magic, but spent the majority of the afternoon sat in a corner wishing I had brought a book with me. And after all that work I did on my guitar, I only use it for 2 songs - and 1 of those was cut on Saturday!

Sunday was spent in the hell that is Ikea, followed by flat-pack assembly fun. We have a study of our front room, (Or 'study/5th bedroom' as I recently saw on a house listing of a friend who has the same house as us. If you like standing up, you'll be fine) and Mia decided over the weekend that it needed a make-over as it was wasted space and had turned into a dumping ground. So I was despatched to Ikea with a shopping list, and somewhat surprised myself by getting everything on the list - what's more, it seems all the relevants bits are in the boxes as well, which is a first for Ikea.

In between Ikea and assembly, I did have to take Bethany to a birthday party involving trampolines and bouncy castles - she then realised whilst eating the birthday cake on the way home, that yesterday was 1 month to her birthday, so has started planning her party ...

She was complaining yesterday afternoon she couldn't find the siver glitter, so I'm assuming she's going for a glam-rock themed party ...

"George, was a giant ...."

As the guy who sits opposite me has the hangover to end all hangovers, I'm being nice and being quiet (Obviously I did say "Hello Paul!" in a loud cheery voice, and have slapped a few books down on the desk in the meantime) so the office is library-like.

As a child I loved going to the library (Nicely linked huh?!). My local one was in Gants Hill and was split into a children's library and the adult library. The children's one had these white, round book holders on the floor with 4 compartments where the picture books were kept, and I'd spend ages searching for an Asterix or Tin-Tin books I hadn't read. Alternatively I'd be working my way through Enid Blyton's 'Famous Five' or 'Secret Seven' series, or occasionally the 'Jennings' series of books. The librarian was a 60's/70's throwback, with her long hair parted straight down the middle, and her penchant for cheesecloth .. But she was brilliant. She knew every child's name and their favourite books, and would always have a suggestion on something else to try which invariably was right. Through her, I learnt to love reading and consequently I always have a book on the go, and will read pretty much anything.

Charlotte and Bethany have acquired my love of reading, and Thursday evening is our regular library visit. Manningtree Library is quite small, but the girls always find something of interest to them. I've always read to the girls at bedtime and have discovered that both have different tastes.

Charlotte liked novels, and would like a chapter each night (On the understanding I could scan ahead and skip bits if the chapter was a long one), we worked our way through the Famous Five and the Roald Dahl books ('Danny the champion of the world' being a big favourite) - which gave me a chance to reacquaint myself with the books of my childhood. She's old enought to read to herself at night now, and is now devouring the Jacqueline Wilson books as fast as she can find them.

Bethany likes short stories, and her absolute favourite is 'The Smartest Giant In Town'. I seem to read that book at least twice every couple of weeks, and both Bethany and I can recite it at will, but it's fun book to read. Lot's of voices to put on (As she can read very well, I now get B to do them) and a song/poem to recite after each event - Bethany knows that if I'm in a rush or just don't seem up for reading too much, to get that book out.

I'm going to miss reading to her (and also the 'Smartest Giant In Town') when she moves on to reading to herself like her big sister, I'll have to read the book to myself, or the dog ... Failing that, I'll invite myself round to friend's houses and read the book to their children at bedtime.

"I saw this on YouTube ..."

I had my camera in the office yesterday as I was downloading the photos from the go-karting on Tuesday evening (I still hurt incidentally ...), and as the weather was quite nice I decided to visit the Monument.

The Monument was built between 1671 and 1677 to commemorate the Great Fire of London of 1666, and to celebrate the rebuilding of London (Yep, it was finished 100 years before America was 'born' ...). The fire began in a baker's house in Pudding Lane, on Sunday 2nd September 1666, and was fianlly extinguished on Wednesday 5th September. The fire severely damaged thousands of houses, hundreds of streets, the City gate's, public buildings, churches, and the original St Paul's Cathedral. The only building to survive were those built if stone.

The Monument stands 202 feet tall, and incorporates a cantilevered stone staircase consisting of 311 steps. The height of the Monument is the exact distance between it and the site in Pudding Lane where the fire began.

So that's the history out the way ...

£3 to go in the Monument, which I didn't think was too bad, and then the 311 steps which the day after go-karting were an absolute killer!

But the views made up for the burning in my thighs ..!

Tower Bridge and HMS Belfast (Where Spandau Ballet were holding their press conference to announce their reforming)

My office! (The one with the clock)

Tower 42 (Big building on the left) and 'The Gherkin' (The, um, gherkin shaped building on the right)

Some very brave builders ... It's very windy 160 feet up.

I was about to make my way down the windy-windy steps, only to notice a party of school children coming up so I waited ... The first one (Aged about 7) came out, saw Tower Bridge ahead of him and dejectedly said "Oh .. I saw this on YouTube ..."