Gents toilets (Or "Bathrooms" or "Restrooms" if you're one of our colonial cousins - The trouble I had at Sans Franscisco airport the 1st time I went to the US, trying to find a toilet ...). There is a certain etiquette involved when using a communal gents toilet, of which I will try and explain:
Exhibit A
The urinals at work, for the purpose of this blog they shall be identified from left-to-right as A, B, and C. Toilet etiquette dictates that you should stand as far away as possible from any co-workers when using the facilities, and the following rules apply:
Should you enter the gents toilet and see the above scene, which urinal should you use? The answer is A, as this is closest to the door.
Should urinal A already be in use, which urinal should you use? The answer of course is C, as although this is furthest from the door, it is also furthest from the currently in-use urinal.
Should both urinals A and C be in use, what should you do? The answer is either check your reflection in the mirror, wash your hands, or leave. On no account should you use urinal B; this will be seen as slightly weird by your co-workers.
Then there's the whole 'what to do when standing at the urinal' issue. Simply put, you engage, hold in one hand, and either stare at the wall directly in front of you or if you've had a tough night before, at the urinal itself to ensure your aim is correct. Due to the increased chances of your aim without a guiding hand suddenly turning into an out of control firehose, standing at the urinal with hands in pockets, and tackle out flowing freely is frowned upon On no account should you look at any other occupants in either of the other urinal areas, this will be most disconcerting to the other members present and will be thought of as very weird.
What a waste of a 101st post ...
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