Come the revolution ...

When I'm supreme ruler, anyone found in possesion of an umbrella will be first up against the wall to be shot. Harsh, but fair.

I hate the walk into work in the morning when there's a slight bit of moisture in the air, as apparently that means people with umbrellas can lose all spatial awareness and disregard all others. "I have an umbrella, so get out of my way as I won't be moving my umbrella" is the order of the day.

What is the need for an umbrella? There's only a small amount of time it can be used, if the wind is too strong then the umbrella blows inside out anyway. After all, the umbrella is protecting you from what? Water falling, that's what. If you're that concerned put up a hood, or wear a hat; don't carry an instrument that is liable to take my eye out because you're incapable of walking in a straight line and holding an object at the same time. And if you're lighting a cigarette or trying to text at the same time, then you're just asking for it ...

Umbrellas (along with sweetcorn) are the work of the Devil. Golf umbrellas, whilst apparently useful on golf course (Though I'm yet to see one in use on a golf course) are not needed on a crowded city street. And beware all those companies that feel the need to advertise on umbrellas - seeing your name emblazoned on an umbrella is more likely to have me on Google finding your direct competitor than spend any of my hard-earned money on your product.

I repeat. It's water falling, you're not going to melt or anything.

Viva la revolution!